Discworld Music Meme 6
by Miss Yetigoosecreature
Summary: Discword, drabbles and ducal regalia. Rated K  for mention of the concept of "parking".


You know the deal. Listen to songs. Write while they play. Hope you don't get anything too horrible. Perhaps I did not hope hard enough. Originally published on my Livejournal May 1, 2010

Lumberjack Song Monty Python

Blue Moon Of Kentucky by Patsy Cline

Hey Mr. DJ I Thought You Said We Had A Deal by They Might Be Giants

Avinu Malkeinu by Barbara Streisand

Braid The Raven Hair by The English National Opera

Mi Morena by Josh Groban

Blueberry Hill by Fats Domino

Close To Modern by The French Kicks

Lay Back Down by Eric Lindell

Concerto in D major for Trumpet and Strings (ADD): Adagio by Telemann

1. Lumberjack Song by Monty Python

"I never wanted to do this for a living..." Sam said with disgust, tossing a sheaf of paperwork onto the coffee table.

"I thought Sam Vimes never wanted to be anything other than a copper," Sybil replied mildly, not looking up from her knitting.

"Well, sure, a copper, not a paper pusher. Putting paperwork on a copper is like putting... lipstick on a hippo."

"There's a picture."

2. Blue Moon Of Kentucky by Patsy Cline

Sybil looked out the window. It was a cloudless night, the moon as bright and white as possible, nearly like midday in the back garden. She let herself out the back door of the kitchen and listened to it snick shut, and sat on the wrought metal bench, the cup of tea and sandwich in her hands from the dinner that hadn't quite gotten eaten because Sam hadn't quite gotten back in time.

3. Hey Mr. DJ I Thought You Said We Had A Deal by They Might Be Giants

"Look... you either have the music for it or you don't. I can hum it if you like," the man said, crossing his arms, effectively blocking the exit from the hall and smiling one of those smiles that usually come with a fin on top. The sort that swimmers find particularly unamusing. The conductor tugged uncomfortably at his collar, which seemed too tight all of a sudden.

"I assure you, Your Grace, I've got the violin player looking for the sheet music," he gulped.

"Good. I would hate to think you had forgotten all about our little deal, earlier. My wife really likes that song."

4. Avinu Malkeinu by Barbara Streisand

Sam Vimes wasn't a praying man. If you had believed in the gods before becoming a copper, you sure wouldn't believe they were much good after seeing a few years of what man could do to man. Any god that would allow the kinds of things coppers saw on a regular basis didn't deserve the time of day, much less prayer. He wasn't really worthy of being listened to, either, come to that.

But... right now, he stared at the wall hard, through the pink clouds, the memories of watchmen dead and alive running through his head, the orders and shuffling and rushing and bustling just down the hall seeming a million miles and years away and the only thing that mattered, all at the same time, and he was wondering faintly why the bit of him that usually kept watch on him, on Sam Vimes, seemed to be in here with the rest of him just now.

And some tiny little part of him prayed, prayed hard to any god or gods that might be listening anyway, until he was told that Dr. Lawn wanted to see him.

5. Braid The Raven Hair by The English National Opera

"This is pretty ridiculous," Sybil muttered under her breath, easing down onto the sofa in the back room of Unseen University, taking care to drape the skirt of the wedding gown just so. It was something of a delicate, lengthy operation. "I don't know what has more tiers, this dress or the cake. And all for fifteen minutes, at most."

"Oh, you only get one wedding," Brenda said dismissively. "And they've done a lovely job."

"A lovely job making me look silly? Thank goodness. I would think most women would decide looking like an overdone pudding in public once is plenty." There was a moment's silence before they both started laughing.

6. Mi Morena by Josh Groban

"Come on, you are going to bloody well get soaked," Sam insisted, pulling at Sybil's arm. "Leave it."

"Won't take five minutes to put it all back in the picnic basket. And you're in the rain all the time. Revel in it."

"I'm stupid," Sam argued. "It's just plates and a blanket. If it goes in the ornamental lake, Roderick and Keith get some new tableware. Go on back to the house." But he was helping her toss things in the basket even as he said it, and the rain actually got harder. You couldn't even see the house from the lake any more.

After a minute, he realized she was no longer tossing things in, she was just watching him. "Anyone ever died of getting wet?" she teased. "I think you promised me a dance, anyway."

"In the dark and the wet," Sam said flatly. He shrugged. It made as much sense as going for a picnic when it looked like rain.

7. Blueberry Hill by Fats Domino

Sam Vimes was not fond of carriages. Or coaches. Or horses. He was one of life's pedestrians.

Rich people had an affinity for horses and coaches and carriages. Sybil had an easy manner around horses, the ability to make fast friends with one and pronounce it a good animal. The highly bred understood pedigrees. Sam simply hated the feeling of being looked down at by a pair of nostrils with oversized teeth. Sybil also was used to riding, and when necessary, driving. Sam didn't have much use for the coach. But even he had to admit they had their advantages.

At least he did once he was introduced to the concept of "parking".

8. Close To Modern by The French Kicks

There were very few flaws in Sybil's sensible character. If forced to find one, Sam might point out that, perhaps it was a flaw that she tended to see the best in everyone, even if there was no "best" to see. That included her husband.

If he were forced to point out a second, he might be pressed to point out that she had something of a mania for modern things, which was odd, given that she also had a distinct tendency for living almost completely out of ancestral attics.

"It's... nice..." Sam said, slamming the lid down a little harder than necessary on the new Disorganizer. "I'll... try not to mislay this one..."

9. Lay Back Down by Eric Lindell

Sybil was an early riser. She tended to employ more cheerfulness than Sam thought should be strictly legal prior to seven in the morning, too. He was still getting used to being upright more during the hours of daylight than dark. The mattress might be big and broad, probably bigger than a few of the rooms he had rented over the years, and it was well sprung, but Sam was a light sleeper. He squinted hazily at the other side of the bed, where Sybil had her back to him and was trying to slip out of bed without waking him. He flung an arm over her shoulder in uncoordinated fashion.

"Mmmph... lay back down..."

She hesitated. "But... I should probably see to breakfast and..." She didn't sound too convinced herself.

"Lay back down. Breakfast can either see to itself or sod off," he added with sleepy conviction.

10. Concerto in D major for Trumpet and Strings (ADD): Adagio by Telemann

"I just... arrghhh..." Sam tugged self-consciously at the ridiculous trousers that made up a portion of the ducal regalia. He had gotten dressed in a hurry and the tights were... Well. The tights... were tights.

"Shush. You look fine. Stop pulling at that. They're just about ready to have the wedding party come in," Sybil whispered.

"I would still love to know what the hell P... Harry King... pulled to get Vetinari to make this required attendance. And what the hell that de Worde-"

"Shush!"


End file.
